mei mei

that's the word we hear around here for "little sister".
and mine is the best.

sometimes i look at adelaide and think "maybe she'll be like mine".

and i hope that for noah.
i hope she loves sparkly finger nail polishes and trips to wal mart with her baby sitters.
and that she is the main reason the baby sitters keep coming back.

my mei mei grew up and became beautiful.
she always was.
but now it's just a different kind.

she's radiant.

adelaide joy

08.31.12

it's just who she is. a joy.

at first, i was amazed and thrilled at what an epidural can do when it works. 

it's just glorious. made me want to have another baby.

then the epidural wore off and the nursery kept handing me back my baby when she cried. so then i cried. a little overwhelmed (hello baby blues). wondering how i'd be parenting 2 kids.

she's beautiful.

she weighed 8 pounds 4 ounces.

 21 inches long. 

a little difference from her big brother, weighing 9 pounds 1 ounce.

the real deal.

[something about that phrase reminds me of my dad. i have no idea why. it just does.

i picture him saying "man, it's the REAL DEAL!" in the country[ist] of ways.]

I'd love to tell y'all about how we laugh and gaze at Noah for our pictures. 

Honestly, we tickle him. 

Seriously.

We force tickle him for a good one. Then he goes back to being Noah. He's a precious Noah, don't get me wrong. Just shedding some light onto our "picture" lives.

[a week-ish away until adelaide comes] 

My sister and I were just talking about our "picture" lives.

And how someone can look at pictures and really not know anything, 

but feel like they know everything.

It's just not so.

Sometimes I'm way more enjoyable than those pictures and other times I'm just rotten. Been having to renew my mind lately about what snapshots are in my head [like what a picture perfect life should, would, or could look like]. It's a yucky down-hill tunnel to slip and slide on. 

Seeing today that I can only look to Jesus for what I am shaping my life to be like and for. He's the only one who should be molding my picture and editing my snapshots [that cheesy one is for you, Mom].

I had been disliking these kind of pictures in my life...

the ones in Asia where my life is a little uncomfortable. 

It's joyful, but it's uncomfortable. 

[riding the scooter, attached with a buckled in seat thingy. not the norm, but it just needed to work for that day. it was that kind of day. like just get me through today because i'm overwhelmed and don't know how else my kid will get to the restaurant with us.]

[noah cleaning up after dinner at a local restaurant. i didn't love that he's sweeping up who-knows-what but now i can see that this is him meshing with the culture and not being afraid of people.]

[adelaide's rocking chair in her room. it's uneven and wobbles when going back and forth over the lamp cord, but this is where we'll spend our days. it doesn't have to be leather or all neutral colors or even "organic bedding". i just have to love her and that's what she'll remember.]

[his not so glamorous but favorite toy in our neighborhood]

these 2 are my favorite. my husband's work clothes:

 

[an LLBean backpack from elementary school (who even saves things for that long??? scott does.), yellow tennis shoes, and a kid on his shoulders. not what i pictured for the beginning years of our family life. but i am growing to love it.]

thankful that He doesn't allow me [in His goodness!] to go for very long visualizing my picture perfect snapshot life.

 because let's be honest, who wants forced tickle pictures just to make a smile in all their family albums?

NOT ME.

coming and going

it's that time of year over here in Asia.

[picture taken last october]

[last november. they loved these chairs. at the same time.]

i've heard people talk about it but i have yet experienced it. until today.

the sad part about closing out a year.

for saying goodbye to friends that we've lived around for a year. 

thankful for all that's been done in and through and around me, but still sad.

[thailand. january.] 

[march]

[april]

 [june]

you see, i get really comfortable with... well, things that make me comfortable. this family was one of those things:

we had to say goodbye today. 

it was hard. because they're going. and we're staying.

one's not better than the other.
and one's not easier either.

i could just boo hoo in my room all night, but in His provision [a way that only He could be thoughtful enough to plan out], this family is coming:

jason and malorie are here for a glorious week that i wish was a glorious year. [but i can't have everything, now can i.] and a much much much appreciated plane flight back WITH US to the States. they're incredible. and even cuter than this cute picture. i know, right?

thank you lord for doing what You do. for making things make sense when i thought they didn't.

thank you that with the going, there is the coming.

5 blurbs

I'm just not great with it. With collecting details and sharing them frequently.

I am better at blurbs. Blurbs that come with month-long pauses, apparently. 

SO much happens in a month, now that I think about it. And more than just 5 things. I'll save the others for another day.

1. Noah got hand foot and mouth disease. We think. So said the doctor that we called. Great news is that it went away and that people were also getting it in America. Not trying to rejoice in someone else's sufferings, just love when I find out that something weird in Asia might actually be a normal happening in America.

No worries, we are back to digging in the dirt, putting rocks in the mouth, and sliding down slides [head and hands first] that others with "splint pants" have previously been down. An adventurous, messy life this little boy leads.

And then I got some funky eye thing a couple of times.

But that doctor's appointment lead to a really great surprise of an ultrasound from a western doctor [Chinese doctors are not able to say the sex of the baby] ...

2. We are having a girl. Really excited. I feel like I don't see enough new people where I live to really express that excitement. My tiny community here already knows we are happy about it, so it's strange not being able to express "it's a girl!" to random run ins at church and restaurants and downtown. We love a sweet little [kind of long] name. Didn't even realize how much I'm set on it until I saw it in a friend's handwriting the other day.

Hopefully these hormones won't change my mind. Because it's so pretty.

3. Noah's been cute. And a mess. I wonder if those two words will some up his presence at each phase of life. I hope so. He adds some serious spunk and sparkle to my days. And bruises. But those fade, so I'm okay with it.

4. I've been growing.

[there really is no need for belly pics. this was me at 22 weeks. use your imagination. WAY bigger now because i'm 29 weeks. and don't think solo pics are fun any more. wait. were they ever?]

5. Scott's been... well, he's just been hunky dory. Really number 5 could say the same as number 3. Scott's also a cute mess. Can't help but make that tangible for you...

http://youtu.be/dI9udHWM0Ew

[Noah's screaming "hey baby"]

yesterday's not today.

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

indeed I have a beautiful inheritance.

psalm 16:5,6

My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength 

of my heart and my portion forever.

psalm 76:26

[my not so artsy husband took this picture and liked it. good for him.]

Even though my yesterday was yucky, it doesn't mean my today will be.

He reminded me of that in the exact verses that were set out for me to read this morning. I love when He does that. And He knows that I do.

the only explanation

Someone asked a question to me and some friends on Sunday.

"Is there anything in your life that makes sense only because of the Resurrection?"

I just smiled [an under my breath kind of smile where nobody really sees it... because it's really just between me and Him anyway.]

"Yes!" i thought. "This only makes sense because of You!"

I'm grateful that this question makes me smile. I want to come back to this question when I can't see when driving my scooter to class. When I can't take my hands off the handles long enough to open my helmet's shield-thing so I can reach my eyes to wipe off tears. Crying because I can't remember why this is worth living in a foreign place.

I love moments [and God is good to make these moments frequent in my thought life] where He reminds me that the only explanation is because of this resurrection life, outside of that it doesn't make sense.