Sunday, January 20, 2013

what do i need?

i would love to say that this first week of a beach-y place (thailand) has been great.

[this pic is for you, mimi. reminds me of your bracelets we always played with!]

but it hasn't.

my insecurities are heightened (motherhood) and my sleep is lacking.

we're in a little hotel room. no big deal. it really isn't.

[in the hallway, waiting on the kids to fall asleep.]

noah's in childcare and hates it. also not a big deal.  it's just the way i'm handling it all. it's the opposite of graceful.

i told my mom that i need a vacation away from myself. and that all i do is fail and fail and fail.

she said "ummm. that's the point, you can't do it."

there's a thought.

she ended the conversation with an "i love you and you are NOT a perfect mom and NOBODY is and that's why we need a savior."

i've been asking God why this week is so hard for me. maybe i just need to realize some things. 

i'll start with my NEED
at first i thought it was need for quiet time and space.
no, maybe it's sunshine.
never mind how about reading a good book.
or maybe 2 hotel rooms.
western food?
how about chats with other moms.

i had it all wrong. i need a savior. 

sounds cheesy, but it's never been more real to me.


  1. Finally catching up on blog reading from the past month. . .

    Cat, great post! I'm grateful for both knowing that "when I am weak, then I am strong". I'm also great for Godly people like your Mom to remnd us.

    Thanks for being a great example of quiet Godliness to me and many others over here!

  2. I loved this post so much. Thank you for figuring out what I need for me... that check list at the end is so familiar. praying for you guys!

  3. thanks Catherine for sharing your heart. love you and praying for you.

  4. love ya cat!! moms always say just the right thing, even when it is not necessarily the thing we think we 'want' to hear. jesus is enough...thinking of you. xx

  5. Oh Amen & Amen! Just checking in...I am SO with you & sending you guys lots of love and the wish that we can get our families together again before Heaven:/ But, alas, I think I have to let it go...we LOVE you guys and are praying for you!!!