Saturday, September 4, 2010

what i'm just a learnin'

scott went to china this weekend.
first time alone with noah.
so of course i called mom at a low point yesterday.
and heard a good word from her.

she said He gives me :

"grace for what is, not what if..."

not sure about you, but when things
get blah i start doing the what if.


what if i seriously can't do this by myself.
what if it doesn't get easier like people say.
oh gosh, what if something happens to scott.
what if then i really am by myself.
what if blah blah blah.

as dramatic or trivial as they are, i think them.

you can just wear out those what ifs. that's when mom said it. don't go down the road of what if. He gives me grace [in other words: supply] for what is. for the now. and if one of the what ifs happened, then there'd be His supply for that need right then as well.

one day at a time. surrendered day.
a baby brings a whole new meaning to that.

so i woke up today to find more.

wanting to be "shattered".
i loved reading that word this morning.

with all the adjustment lately, i need my present perspective of Christ to be shattered.
i don't want my mind to be bogged down.
i want my mind on the things of God, not the things of man.

He is readjusting me. He's doing it by
finishing in me something that only this current situation can do.
some people may wonder [and i ask myself]:

"do you feel like
these past few weeks in hk
have been pointless?"

"wouldn't you rather have spent those first 7 weeks of
noah's life back "home"?"

"now that you're moving from hk,
do you think you should have just come
back to auburn to have the baby and stay there?"

because He is finishing in us something that only this situation can do.
he brings about NEW situations so that
we can become NEW in character.

so here i am, hoping for that abundance.
that as i am seeking newness in Him, i will find it.
and find it in abundance.


  1. What a wise Mama you have! I love how teachable you are! When He speaks to you, you listen and react. That is what we all should do!

  2. wonderful. absolutely, positively wonderful truth.

  3. Beautiful Post. So insightful.

  4. Cat. This is Lauri Mehaffey. I know. random. Do you remember me?? haha. maybe not but anyways, thanks for your words. Your perspective is exactly what I needed today. Thanks for being patient and for trusting Him. I think you're cool.

  5. Amen and amen to all that you shared in this post. Praying for you three as you transition.

  6. Wow! I don't usually take time to read blogs, but I'm so glad my sweet mother-in-law sent me the link to your page today. Being a new mom (again) has led me to a similar place...similar lessons...but you express them so eloquently. I can't wait to share your insights with friends. God IS good! Blessings to you all from Amy & Roy (cousins) Shelby & Carson

  7. And to that end He is shattering fear and what we thought we know of Him so that what we hold on to doesn't become an idol. I just want Him. Simply Him. God in the raw. No preconceived ideas, expectations or conditions. What that looks like for the rest of the world's view or your own view doesn't matter. Letting Him shatter our old self and bring about a new self, restored, renewed and with...the joy of the Lord is (becoming and being) our strength (Neh 8:10)... If that is true...we can do all things who strengthens us. Use every minute of your wilderness experience to His glory. Let Him make you a new creation. I hear Him in your 'voice'.

  8. Wonderful!!! Love this, love this, love this! What a beautiful truth, and what a smart mama you are, and what a smart mama you have!

    And on another note...I'm coming to get that neck hug and a few baby snuggles when you get back on red clay soil.