scott went to china this weekend.
first time alone with noah.
so of course i called mom at a low point yesterday.
and heard a good word from her.
she said He gives me :
"grace for what is, not what if..."
not sure about you, but when things
get blah i start doing the what if.
what if i seriously can't do this by myself.
what if it doesn't get easier like people say.
oh gosh, what if something happens to scott.
what if then i really am by myself.
what if blah blah blah.
as dramatic or trivial as they are, i think them.
you can just wear out those what ifs. that's when mom said it. don't go down the road of what if. He gives me grace [in other words: supply] for what is. for the now. and if one of the what ifs happened, then there'd be His supply for that need right then as well.
one day at a time. surrendered day.
a baby brings a whole new meaning to that.
so i woke up today to find more.
wanting to be "shattered".
i loved reading that word this morning.
with all the adjustment lately, i need my present perspective of Christ to be shattered.
i don't want my mind to be bogged down.
i want my mind on the things of God, not the things of man.
He is readjusting me. He's doing it by
finishing in me something that only this current situation can do.
some people may wonder [and i ask myself]:
"do you feel like
these past few weeks in hk
have been pointless?"
"wouldn't you rather have spent those first 7 weeks of
noah's life back "home"?"
"now that you're moving from hk,
do you think you should have just come
back to auburn to have the baby and stay there?"
because He is finishing in us something that only this situation can do.
he brings about NEW situations so that
we can become NEW in character.
so here i am, hoping for that abundance.
that as i am seeking newness in Him, i will find it.
and find it in abundance.