training part II

right now i'm reminding myself that this is how it goes.

the beginning.

where God needs me flat smack down as low as i can be.

so that he can use me. teach me.

i just wish it could pleasantly happen.

and maybe it would if i would be less resistant to it.

you know, change.

training part II because part I was daytona.

now we're in fort collins, CO.

should have known that it was going to start out like part I.

hard, but good. isn't it always?

first day: child care.

noah actually cried so hard for so long that they had to come find us.

i walked in and was like yep.

that's mine.

the one with the snotty nose and hyperventilating cry.

i seem to find that day 1 is always a bit hard.

truth is...

if i acted out my deep down feelings, then scott would probably find me snotty nosed

kicking my feet on the floor crying as well.

[all because i might have to do an hour of homework a night and a power point presentation. which just made me cringe typing it.]

[this picture is funny to me because i was actually like okay noah SMILE!! FOR THE CAMERA!]

WHY?

because i've got that self junk in my heart too.

just like noah.

at least he's a bit sincere with how he's feeling.

me? i like to cram it inside for a while and let it come out with a lovely wah bam!.

isn't that sweet.

so that was day one. at least from my perspective.

if scott let you in on his world, you'd all be

packing your bags and heading to East Asia with us.

we're in his la-la land right now.

mountains.

hikes.

skiing.

trails.

cool weather.

new people.

[noah already looks at him like dad, you're so the fun one.]

you should all have a scott.

[and as for me...]

i find myself wanting one of those promises.

you know how people say "i'm clinging to his promise".

and you think, okay what are you talking about.

well, i found one.

and now i know what those people were talking about.

i read it and my spirit was like that's it!.

isa 43:2

he's with me.

even in crying baby moments.

they shall not overwhelm me.