Today I was.
More than ever.
So many people to push through.
[ In New Town Plaza, the closest mall to where we live. I was trying to get through to the grocery store. Yep, trying. These crowds were everywhere.]
It caused me to go from semi-irritated to
full of water in my eyes mad.
I mean, what are these people thinking?
Don't they know the world revolves around me?
Go home so I can have a peaceful walk around City Super and Taste.
That was just the beginning of my snobby little thoughts going on this afternoon.
Peak into what my brain was saying to me today [the white words]. Then I bought my groceries and started walking. Answering my own thoughts, as you can see [in yellow].
- Why the heck are there so many people out right now?
Because you live in Hong Kong, along with 7 million other people. Who do you think you are.
- Excuse me, WOMAN. Can't you tell I have eggs in my grocery bag and you just squished the mess out of them. Move out of my way.
No. She can't magically see through your ugly green grocery bag. You move out of her way.
- Yes, I'm standing right here. Don't push me.
Relax. It's just a little push. You probably needed it to get that pride up and out of you.
- I want to cry. Right here and now.
Then do it. Who cares, you're in Hong Kong. Isn't that freeing?
- Why is everyone buying groceries today. Don't they have leftovers from Chinese New Year? Ugh, these people.
Today is actually a holiday as well. Maybe they needed a little stroll outside of their apartment to find some smiling faces in the mall. But then they ran into you, Your Highness.
Bottom Line...
- THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND YOU. There's your answer, Cat.
It's like a terrible reminder of what was smashed into my head as a first grader, and every year after that. It was pretty much the answer for 90% of my questions.
"Catherine, the world doesn't revolve around you. That's why."
I was annoyed today.
Hello, wake up call to me.
I'm here to love the people.
Love the crowds.
[Without a doubt in me] the hardest, yet most valuable invitation:
Die to self. Die to self. Die to self.
Oh God, teach me.
May I fall in love with these Chinese crowds.
thank you for writing this. and for your honesty and the way you point us back to what's true.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this!
ReplyDeleteMary Claire
'love you, and your honest, raw perspective. Isn't it amazing (and humbling) when the Holy Spirit (with great love) knocks us off our high horse? (And hey, folks...this chick's got pregnancy hormones kickin'....watch out! ;) )
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your honesty so much, Catherine!! It is what God is working with me on,too and you articulate it so well. I think "my flesh has been crucified (Gal. 2.20)!! Why won't it die already?" And God says to me "So you have to depend on Me every moment of every day." Humbling, indeed.
ReplyDeleteWith love,
Jolie